Hospedia hospital TV – user journey fail

November 13, 2011 in All posts, review

My little boy is needing a few nights in hospital and in order to make it marginally more bearable, I’ve been made to purchase some pay-per-view TV.

Saving the fact that we’re already on the back foot because a) we’re here against our will, and b) the very notion of paying to watch Strictly Come Dancing fills me with hatred, I kinda have to go through this experience or the hospital room is devoid of any kind of entertainment (other than listening to my son fart his way through an unfair regime of laxatives and antibiotics).

Actually, I think I’d prefer that to Strictly. Anyway.

Prelude

Not sure if you’ve ever seen these TV units in hospitals, but they are attached to large swing-arms that can fold away into a corner or expanded out, Rise-Of-The-Robots style, to loom over the head of whichever unsuspecting patient you choose. I’ve avoided them in the past because they look to be a massive rip-off. Are my instincts right? Read on!

p.s: sorry about the cameraphone pic quality.

Step 1: the main menu

Not a great start. It’s lurid, and the messages all kinda jostle for position. Some of them flash on & off. It’s all made worse by the crap screen quality.

Ok, I’m going to be constructive for a mo:

1. Don’t say “press ‘RENT the Telly’ when the button doesn’t ACTUALLY SAY THAT (it says ‘Rent Telly + Films’)
2. Also, ‘Telly’ is fucking awful. Call it ‘TV’ or ‘Televison’. I appreciate this is my own preference, though.
3. Choose lead caps, or don’t. Don’t mix the two.
4. Bloody awful hierarchy in terms of which button is the one to press. ‘Operator’ is the biggest one (and green, which is the ‘go’ signal)

Step 2: ‘RENT the Telly’

Here we are, then – RENTING the Telly:

So yeah, I’ll take that 2hr bundle right there! I know they do vending machines with prepay cards in them, but dammit: I’m in a hurry to see bloody Strictly (apparently).

Step 4: Not being allowed the bundle

Oh:

I didn’t even know I had to credit my account first…thought it was kinda ‘choose what you want, then pay’ kinda arrangement. Silly me. Off we go to ‘other services’

Step 5: other services

Um. Right. So…

Again with the key points:

1. Still no hierarchy – in fact, it’s extra confused this time, with different colourschemes. 3x black menu options (so are they all kinda linked?), 2x blue ones, a couple of light green ones, a couple of dark green…BLEURGH.
2. It’s completely unclear what to do. Clicking ‘TV/Telly’ seems like the right choice…
3. Anyone else find the “We can’t get you out of here, but we can give you FREE CALLS” a bit…well, inappropriate? Just a bit?

Step 6: Confirm who you are

So, I did this screenshot after confirming that I wasn’t Mrs J Beneite (presumably the previous patient). I then went through the awkward motions of entering my name:

Step 7: Choose my overpriced bundle!

Right? So where’s my ’2hrs for £1′ bundle? Oh yes. It’s NOT THERE. But feel free to, y’know, go for one of the more hideously expensive options.

I went and got a £5 prepay card in the end. The last annoying thing? All the way through my delightful 2hr bundle, I was constantly bugged with ‘You have a message!” in the system’s twee little inbox thing.

Conclusions

This dodgy user experience will be affecting their conversion – there’s no doubt in my mind. These units need a lot of work to make them better, key points being:

• Annoyingly complex for someone who may well be recovering from some major medical emergency and just wants to chill out
• Zero thought for message and CTA hierarchy
• Zero thought r.e colour combinations, and how they might look on a terrible quality TV such as this
• Clearly designed by someone in an office who’s never been to hospital
• A massive ripoff

You suck, Hospedia.